Issue No. 5Never grow bitter.

read on aceapolonio.com | April 30, 2023

Hi friend,

I’m going to watch the Super Mario Bros. Movie today with a couple of friends from college. I just remember the time when I used to play Super Mario as a kid. I’d spend the entire night finishing and mastering each level until I feel asleep. But, I wonder, if Mario goes inside pipes or tubes, isn’t he considered a sewer or drain technician and not a plumber? Very important question.

Sunday Contemplation

When you were a child, did you ever wonder why some adults looked so depressed and sometimes easily irritated? You'd want to play with them, but they just wouldn't even bother smiling at you. I used to be that child, and now I see why some, or maybe most, adults are like that. It's the fact that time has rendered them numb to the things that used to be fun. It's bitterness developed from unresolved anger, hurt, or resentment. It could be that their life has not been the one they wanted. And it's sad to see that many adults today have inherited that.

When we experience a setback, betrayal, or injustice, our initial response is usually anger or sadness. However, if we don't address and process these emotions properly, they can fester and transform into bitterness. This bitterness then colors our perception of the world and can lead to feelings of hopelessness, mistrust, and a negative outlook on life. When we allow bitterness to take root in our lives, it doesn't just affect our emotional well-being; it can also have adverse effects on our physical health, relationships, and overall quality of life. Bitter people tend to be less forgiving, more pessimistic, and less likely to form deep, meaningful connections with others. These factors can contribute to a life of loneliness, anxiety, and depression. Most are not aware of this, which makes it even more dangerous. By understanding this fact of life, you'll tend to be more understanding of the people around you.

When you meet someone angry or irritated, understand that this is not their natural state. That anger, that violent or negative behavior, is a product of a past experience, a sort of trauma that was never resolved. Instead of using anger to beat anger, and hate to beat hate, use compassion. These people need it the most. And you need this as well. You can never achieve peace by fueling a fire. As the famous adage says, "Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned." Nothing positive has ever come out of an argument. Avoid arguments at all costs.

People are more interested in themselves: their name, their past experience, their current experiences, their achievements, their physical appearance, their lifestyle. If you want someone to listen to you, you have to acknowledge what they value the most, which is themselves. Here's a good practical example. Let's say you're a member of a team, and your teammate performed a task in a very inefficient way, and you wanted it to change. Which of these two sentences will work best to get what you want from them?

1. Kyle, I think we should change this. It's not efficient, in my opinion.

2. Kyle, I really like what you did in this part. And in the past, you have done similar wonderful jobs. However, this time, I think we should change this a bit. What do you think?

Despite sounding respectful, number 1 would not make you want to do it if you were Kyle, or at least, you'd feel a little hurt because you worked hard on it. Number 2, however, shows that the person acknowledges your work and your history. This makes you feel proud but at the same time, your ego is now more open for suggestion. The simple question of "what do you think?" even makes it better because now the person requesting something from you wants you to participate in creating a new change. This way, you feel like you're still in charge. This is how you win people's hearts. This is how you prevent people from feeling bitter. And this is how you start becoming more mature and abandoning the things that do not concern you or do not deserve your energy. Arguments, hatred, anger, and resentment are huge energy depleters. Avoid them at all times. Do not use your past experiences and traumas as a basis for reacting. You are a new person every day, and people do not deserve the bitterness that comes from your own experiences.

If you're older, don't look at young people as lazy or spoiled brats. Look at them as buds trying to grow in a challenging forest. If you're single, don't look at couples as unfaithful partners who don't deserve love. Look at them as the personification of tenderness and affection. If you're poor, don't look at rich people as greedy maniacs. You don't know what they have suffered to achieve what they have. Instead, think of them as inspiration to do well in your own life.

Cultivate love and understanding in your heart, and try to help others see the same beauty and potential that lies within them. By doing so, we can foster a more empathetic and caring society, where everyone has a chance to flourish and lead a fulfilling life. Remember, life is too short to harbor resentment and negativity. Embrace compassion, empathy, and kindness, and let these qualities guide your interactions with others. If you look at the world with a compassionate eye, you'll create a compassionate world. Change starts within you. Never grow bitter.

Quote of the Week

“If you look at the world with a compassionate eye, you'll create a compassionate world. Change starts within you. Never grow bitter.”—Ace ApolonioShare the image below on social media, tag me @aceapolonio, and I will choose one lucky person at random to receive a physical copy of my book 'Silent Contemplations'.

Mindful Reminder

Whenever you feel a negative emotion towards others or even towards yourself, ask yourself whether it's a product of your past experiences or not. If it is, you may be succumbing to bitterness. Never become bitter. Be like a child who always looks at the world as a playground. It's just a game, so have fun while you still can play it.

2 Lessons from Others

Anne Frank, Jewish diarist and Holocaust victim, on never growing bitter:

“In spite of everything, I still believe that people are really good at heart. I simply can't build up my hopes on a foundation consisting of confusion, misery, and death.”

Rumi, Persian poet and philosopher, on never growing bitter:

“Raise your words, not your voice. It is the rain that grows flowers, not thunder.”

Song of the Week

Humble And Kind by Tim McGraw is a song that reminds listeners of the importance of staying grounded and maintaining a sense of humility, compassion, and gratitude throughout life's journey. The lyrics provide a series of life lessons, encouraging people to embrace values such as kindness, empathy, and respect in their daily interactions, while also urging them not to grow bitter in the face of adversity.

The song emphasizes the idea that, amidst the hustle and bustle of life, it is essential to remain true to one's core values and to treat others with care and understanding, even when faced with difficult circumstances. It inspires listeners to strive for personal growth while remembering the significance of staying humble, maintaining a compassionate outlook on life, and avoiding bitterness.

Meme of the Week

Let your friends join us in this journey by telling them to sign up for Sunday Stillness newsletter here: aceapolonio.comWant to sponsor an issue of Sunday Stillness? Contact me via email .Read the past issues here: LinkTell me how you applied or what you realized about this concept. I will feature your story next week if you’re chosen. Leave a message here.Until next week,

Ace ApolonioAuthor of Silent Contemplations

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