Issue No. 2

Make space for what truly matters.

read on aceapolonio.com | April 9, 2023

Hi friend,

It's Spring in Korea, and I feel as though time is passing quicker and quicker each day. It's already the second quarter of the year, and my brain still feels like we were celebrating the new year just a few weeks ago. Is it just me, or do you also feel that we don't celebrate the new year as we did maybe five years ago? Perhaps we are just too busy, or it could be a reflection of the current economic crisis. The world is changing too damn fast.

Sunday Contemplation

One of the profound impacts of the internet on human existence is unfettered access to a wealth of information and exposure to a diverse array of communities and personalities. We now consume an unprecedented amount of information. The internet is home to billions of websites, videos, audio recordings, and textual content. Even beyond the digital realm, we are constantly inundated with information through television and casual conversations with friends. How many times in a day does your friend talk about a Tiktok video he/she saw yesterday? Social media platforms, in particular, are engineered to ensnare us in a perpetual cycle of clicking, reacting, and scrolling.

Despite the remarkable advancements in technology that have far surpassed the imaginations of those living a century or even a millennium ago, why does it seem that we are more anxious than ever before? Our brains have not evolved swiftly enough to adapt to this novel environment in which information is ceaselessly funneled into our consciousness. The heightened anxiety experienced by many stems from the onslaught of unnatural stressors.

For members of indigenous tribes, anxieties predominantly arise from the challenges of survival. Concerns revolve around procuring their next meal, ensuring their shelter can withstand an impending storm, or warding off the invasion of outsiders who seek to claim their land. In contrast, urban dwellers, whose lives are ostensibly more comfortable than those of their tribal counterparts, grapple with a plethora of stressors and anxieties—work, finances, health, relationships, social issues, environmental problems, gender or body dysphoria, political tensions, and personal struggles, to name a few. It seems that we, as denizens of the modern world, are generally more anxious than those deemed less "civilized." Our lives are intrinsically more stressful due to the sheer volume of information and experiences we must process. Living has, in a sense, become an unending occupation.

How can you separate yourself from the sea of information? You cannot completely cut yourself off from the world. That would be extreme and impractical. You can explore minimalism and frugality, but that can also limit your creativity and natural need for exploration. Less is more, yes, but it can also be restrictive. Instead of pursuing total disconnection from the busy world, let’s think of another mindset that can most effectively put us on the proper path.

Less is more.

Make space for what matters.

This simple shift in perspective does three things:

1. It still allows us to diminish the number of unnecessary interactions with the world.

2. It empowers us to seek more of what actually matters.

3. It moves us forward while leaving behind useless baggage.

Now, how do we apply this in the real world?

Step 1List down everything that concerns you on paper. Write six major categories: work, health, social, finance, family, and personal development. You can add more if you like. Step 2Then under each category, write two subcategories: worry and activity. This will give you a clear picture of what is taking up your mental space and where you are focusing your energy.

Step 3Under the subcategories, list down everything that you think are taking up your mental space. Once you have listed everything down, take a step back and reflect on each item. Ask yourself, “Does this truly matter to me? Is this worth my time and energy?” , “Do I have control over this?” You have to be strict and avoid the “maybe”s. It’s only yes or no.

Step 4Next, prepare three colored pens, or if you are using your computer, choose three colors. Personally, I use red (remove or forget), green (maintain or continue), blue (improve or add). The red items are the ones you need to forget about or stop doing completely. The green items are the ones you need to continue doing as it is. The blue items are the ones you need to really focus on to improve how it’s being done or to add to your lifestyle if it currently isn’t. List down the blue items on a separate table. Prioritize the items on your list based on what truly matters to you or to your goals. Identify the items that are most important and focus on those first.

Step 5Now, take action. Start with the highest priority item and work your way down the list. Break down each task into smaller, manageable steps and set achievable goals for yourself.

Step 6Finally, review your progress regularly. Celebrate your achievements and adjust your approach if necessary. Remember that making space for what matters is an ongoing process, and it takes time and effort to create lasting change. But with commitment and perseverance, you can achieve your goals and lead a more fulfilling life.

What you have witnessed above is a technique I invented to declutter my life. I call it "The Life Prioritization Matrix." A sample matrix with sample data is shown below. This method allows you to declutter your mental space, reevaluate your priorities, and focus on what truly matters in your life. By following the steps outlined above, you can gain a greater understanding of your values, alleviate some of the anxiety caused by information overload, and create a more balanced and fulfilling life. Whenever you feel anxious or mentally cluttered, restart the matrix and begin again. This is your natural sterilization technique in the busy world. Personally, I do this every Sunday. I reflect on the previous week and evaluate the things I have done. I have abandoned many activities because of this technique. I no longer binge-watch Netflix, scroll for hours on Facebook or Instagram, or watch movies when I am supposed to be doing something more important. I do these things only during my buffer times.

Buffer times are periods when you are doing something that does not require focus and can accommodate multitasking. For example, when I ride the subway train to work, that's when I listen to a podcast or watch a new episode of Star Trek: Picard or The Mandalorian. When I am at the gym working out, that's when I listen to an audiobook or the latest news. My main focused hours are now reserved for the things that truly matter to me.

Satisfaction in life comes from knowing that what you are doing at the moment is what you are supposed to be doing at that moment and nothing else. Our anxieties in the modern world mainly come from the opposite of that. We do one thing, but our minds are in another place. You are walking to work, but your mind is already at your desk, thinking about what you have to accomplish for the rest of the day. You are eating your lunch, but your mind is already at home, thinking about how nice it would be to watch your favorite drama series. It's as if we are never truly present anymore, and that, to me, is where we get lost. Presence makes you feel alive. Try it sometimes.In conclusion, the internet has revolutionized human existence but also increased anxiety due to information overload. To combat this, we can prioritize what truly matters using the Life Prioritization Matrix, decluttering our mental space and focusing on our values and goals. Embracing presence and intentionality in our daily tasks can help us regain control and achieve a more balanced and fulfilling life in our modern, chaotic world.

The Life Prioritization Matrix

This is a sample matrix with three categories.

Quote of the Week

“Satisfaction in life comes from knowing that what you are doing at the moment is what you are supposed to be doing at that moment and nothing else.”

—Ace ApolonioShare the image below on social media, tag me @aceapolonio, and I will choose one lucky person at random to receive a physical copy of my book 'Silent Contemplations'.

Mindful Reminder

Clean up your mind to find clarity. Just like you wash your body to get rid of dirt, it's important to clean out your mind to get rid of unwanted thoughts and clutter.

2 Lessons from Others

Thich Nhat Hanh, a Vietnamese Zen master, poet, and peace activist reinforces the importance of presence in our lives:

“The present moment is the only moment available to us, and it is the door to all other moments”

Stephen Covey, an American educator, author, and businessman on what priorities mean in our lives:

“The key is not to prioritize what's on your schedule but to schedule your priorities.”

Song of the Week

Mess by Noah Kahan is a song that speaks to the desire to let go of the things that are weighing us down and focus on what truly matters, so we can live a more fulfilling and balanced life.

In the song, Kahan acknowledges that he doesn't want to be a mess anymore and doesn't want to burden others with his struggles. This sentiment relates to the importance of decluttering our mental space and reflecting on our priorities. By focusing on what truly matters and letting go of the things that are causing stress and anxiety, we can live a more intentional and purposeful life.

Meme of the Week

Story From You

Hanna, a nursing student in the Philippines talks about what the previous issue “On what really leads us to success” made her realize:“Upon reading the first issue of the Sunday Stillness newsletter, I came to a realization that the key to success as a student and granddaughter is not just hard work, but consistency as well. Although diligence and perseverance are important qualities, they are not always sufficient on their own. I recognized that by making small but consistent progress every day, even just 1%, I could make a significant impact in achieving my goals over time. To illustrate the importance of consistency, I recalled a personal experience from high school when I moved to a province in the Philippines that spoke a different language called "bisaya." As a Tagalog, I struggled to adjust to my new environment and found it difficult to understand anything around me, especially what my teacher was saying. To overcome this language barrier, I started studying bisaya alone at night and engaging in conversations with my fellow classmates in bisaya during the day, which significantly accelerated my learning. Through this experience, I learned that mastering a new language or any other significant goal requires more than just being diligent; it also requires consistency in taking deliberate and intentional steps towards the goal every day. Whether it's practicing a new skill, developing a new habit, or achieving a long-term goal, consistency is crucial for success.”

Imvite your friends in this journey by telling them to sign up for Sunday Stillness newsletter here: aceapolonio.comWant to sponsor an issue of Sunday Stillness? Contact me via email .Read the previous issues here: LinkTell me how you applied or what you realized about this issue’s concept. I will feature your story next week if you’re chosen. Leave a message here.Until next week,

Ace ApolonioAuthor of Silent Contemplations

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