Issue No. 52

Being alive is tough. For most of us, we’re bound to do a few things for the rest of our lives, often without excelling at them. As I walk towards my office, I observe people's faces, seeing the remnants of dreams they were once passionate about. I see these faces every day, and I can't help but wonder if I am one of them.

Whenever I find myself dwelling on the past, I reminisce about mistakes, embarrassments, and regrets. Sometimes, it pains me to think of the people I have abandoned: ex-girlfriends, best friends, friends, acquaintances. What happened to that time? All I know is they are forever gone but not forgotten. It makes me smile to still have those memories within me, evidence of a past that once existed.

When I contemplate the future, I am burdened by the obligations I must fulfill. I have a timeline of events that I want to accomplish by a certain age. I am 27 now; by age 30, I plan to retire my parents and help my siblings finish college. By age 35, I should be married, with a house, a car, and my own company. By age 40, I should have a 5-year-old child. By age 50, I should have a diversified portfolio of investments. By age 60, I should have retired with my future wife somewhere in Europe. I often wonder whether I could accomplish these goals. There seems to be no more surprise in my life if everything is set in stone.

The past pulls me back to what should have been, while the future pushes me to where I should be. Both stretch my mind left and right. For most of us, this is what happens every single second that we are awake. Just think about it. When you commute to work, what's on your mind? You're already thinking of the tasks you should do, your desk, your boss, and your lunch. When it's lunchtime, you're thinking about home. When you're finally at home, you're contemplating what happened at your job or what time you should wake up tomorrow. We are never truly in the present.

I ask myself, why are we never in the present? I think part of the reason is that our attention span is so short that we need constant stimulation from everything. This is especially pronounced if you live in a city. The city offers no rest; everything is moving. So, the tendency is to live a fast lifestyle, moving from one task to the next because everyone else around you is doing the same. Doing otherwise would make you feel unproductive.

But I think the main reason we are never in the present is because of the desire to fix our lives. When we think of the past, our minds try to fix what happened. They rationalize events, figuring out what happened to make us aware of future circumstances where they might happen again. The need to think about the future stems from the need to have a predictable destination. Both are natural and evolutionary abilities necessary for survival long ago. Fear, anxiety, and stress helped our ancestors survive extreme weather conditions and other animals. But in our world today, we no longer need to do this, especially if you have a job that supports your lifestyle. I can understand people who must always think of survival not being in the present moment because they don't have the privilege yet. But for many of us, the desire to fix our lives will always push us away from the present.

What do you think happens to someone who is never in the present moment? They make more mistakes. Their mistakes become regrets. Because they have regrets, they want to prevent them from happening again in the future, so now they are busy thinking about the future. The cycle repeats because we think the solution to our problems is either in the past or in the future. They are not. The past is already gone, and the future hasn't happened yet. Why would you think the solution is in either of those?

Your current situation is what you can have an effect on. The past is already gone; you cannot change it, so forget about it. The future will happen no matter what and will be a result of your present actions, so why think about it too much?

Be in the present, look around you, feel your body existing, and your mind receiving all that the world offers because they may not come again. Today or tomorrow, they can all be taken away from you for good.

Only in the present can you find peace.

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Until next week,