Issue No. 58

According to Plato's account in "Phaedo," Socrates was sentenced to death by drinking hemlock. However, on the day of his execution, he remained calm and philosophical, discussing various topics with his friends and followers. As the time for his execution approached in the afternoon, he maintained his composure, even suggesting that it was customary to offer a sacrifice to the god Asclepius, which involved drinking a cup of poison. He then drank the hemlock without resistance, showing acceptance of his fate.

When I read this story for the first time, I thought what went through Socrates’ mind was that his death was inevitable so he should just accept it. While this may make sense in hindsight, I think the most probable perspective he had was that some things are not within our control. They will happen, or they may not. We don't really know. We don't have to think of them and try to capture their certainty because they are out of our control in the first place.

I call this way of thinking “it will take care of itself," a rather more subtle way to say "it is what it is" but with the nuance of letting outside elements do their own duty.

You have to know when to surrender control. Some things are not within our capacity to influence. An example would be being stuck in traffic. No amount of complaining and being irritable will make it faster. No amount of worry will make your exam results better. You've already taken them. Your worry should have occurred before you took the test and used it as a pressure machine to make you want to study more. Notice that I didn't say “remove your worries”. Worry is a natural reaction to the unknown, but often it's misplaced. We worry when the activity has already occurred. We should worry before we begin the action because that's when we have control.

This way of thinking has many benefits. I personally started practicing this in my final year of college when I got burnt out from studying for too many exams while juggling a few freelancing activities. One night I just felt numb. My body couldn't move, as if I had lost all energy in an instant. After reading for hours, my brain could no longer take in more information. That's when I knew I was burnt out. I could not take in more stimulus in any form. So, I told myself that phrase, “it will take care of itself". When I said this to myself, it was as if I had removed a heavy burden from my shoulders and everything started to make sense.

I thought, “Why am I concerned about the results of my actions? The results are totally out of my control. What I have control over is the specific set of actions needed. If I do a good job following my routines, the results will reveal themselves proportionately with my effort. The result will take care of itself."

Of course, this is the ideal way of thinking about it. However, for the most of us, when we perform any action towards a goal, we are often accompanying action with worry. It was there before the action, it’s there during the action, and it’s there again after the action. Often, the worry is based on nothing but assumption. This is what Marcus Aurelius meant when he said “We suffer more often in imagination than in reality". You’re already exhausting your mental and physical faculties while doing the action, why must imaginary suffering accompany you along the way?

So, now, whenever I have to do something, I no longer focus that much on what happens after the action has been done. If I write a presentation at work, I send it to my CEO, and I let it go. Whether he likes it or not is not my concern. And if he indeed doesn't like it, I would ask why and improve from his feedback. Then I make it again, and I let it go. I have control over my actions, not results.

Try to practice this mentality slowly in your life. Our worries make us suffer twice. Use it, instead, as a tool before the action begins so you have a healthy dosage of pressure to move you forward. As you know, getting started is always the most difficult part of a journey and that requires energy that worry can provide. Once you start the journey, focus on your feet, on your pace, on your effort. These are what you can control. And when the time comes that you have to stop, know that the result of your actions will take care of itself.

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Until next week,