Issue No. 49

Humans are social beings. We thrive in herds, in towns, in cities, in communities, in tribes. The sense of belonging calls to us wherever we are. We feel secure when others are doing similar things. However, with the herd also comes the tendency to be swayed by others' dispositions, ideas, and beliefs. And when the line is not drawn, you can lose yourself within it.

One classic psychological experiment that demonstrates the tendency of humans to conform to social norms is the Asch conformity experiments conducted by psychologist Solomon Asch in the 1950s. In these experiments, participants were asked to judge the length of lines, and they were placed in a group with confederates (people working for the experimenter) who intentionally gave incorrect answers. Even though the correct answer was obvious, many participants conformed to the incorrect judgments provided by the majority of the group. The findings highlighted the powerful influence of social pressure on individual decision-making and demonstrated the willingness of individuals to go along with the group consensus, even if it meant giving an incorrect response.

This experiment and countless others of such nature have proven to us that we are susceptible to what others think. You often hear the adage “You are the average of your friends." If you're observant enough, you'll notice the literal signs of it. For example, I noticed that when I was with my friends, I would laugh at the same intensity or pattern. When they use and pronounce certain words, I realize I do the same. Now these are the obvious conformities that I naturally accept into my psyche, but what about other things that are much deeper than that, such as beliefs? Can you imagine being with a person who constantly reminds you of the negative aspects of the world and how difficult it is to achieve your goals? Do you think you will live a peaceful life brimming with motivation to do better? If you're reading this properly, then of course, no.

I once had an argument with one of the people in my circle. He probably had a really bad experience in Korea, so he wanted to leave as soon as he could. He would often emphasize the negative things about Korea. He spends his time playing games, buying things he doesn't need, going on activities here and there with no end in mind. Order doesn't want to exist in his life even if it's called to. His room is a mess. When we were having a conversation, he asked me what my goal in life is, and I told him that it is to earn enough money to reach financial freedom so that I can retire my parents and secure the future of my future wife and children. He laughed at it and said that most people don't achieve that and that most people are slaves to the system. He called the system rigged, which I did agree with. But, so what? Yes, it is rigged. What are you going to do about it? Sink into your own demise? Continue being miserable? I had to cut this person out of my life because I know he would infect my mind.

If they are always sulking, leave them. If they are always focused on the negative, leave them. If they just distract themselves by participating in senseless activities and travels, leave them. If they are leading a life that has no purpose, leave them. You are not responsible for how and where you're born, but you're responsible for the environment you build. If your environment does not foster a life worth living, maybe it's time to clean it up and start anew. Find the people who have some things you want. Find people with drive, with the motivation to live a good life. Learn from them. Teach others who are leading the same path. Find where you flourish, not where you're stagnant.

Stay away from the 97%, as Jim Rohn reminds us. The 97% of us are leading a poor life, not poor of money but poor in well-thought-out goals. They swim through life without a destination. They can never grow younger, so they are preoccupied with the criticism of the youth. Their minds are fixated on comfortable situations. So, don't go where they go, don't talk like how they talk, don't read what they read, don't do what they do, don't specialize in what they specialize in. Look inwards, find what it is you would put meaning to. And when you find that thing, be prepared to sacrifice everything that is needed to be sacrificed, for a life well-lived is a life of purpose.

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Until next week,