Issue No. 33

Suffering is a fact of life, but what's curious is our tendency to feel ashamed of it. In the realm of social media, we're bombarded with snapshots of happiness, creating an illusion that everyone else's life is an unbroken stream of joy. The problem arises when we compare our real, messy lives, filled with ups and downs, to these curated highlights. It's an unrealistic standard that takes a toll on our mental well-being, especially for teenagers, who, lacking the life experience of adults, struggle to navigate the dissonance between their reality and the idealized online world.

In a passage in the book “Man's Search for Meaning" by Viktor Frankl, Edith Weisskopf-Joelson, before her death, a professor of psychology at the University of Georgia, contended that "our current mental-hygiene philosophy stresses the idea that people ought to be happy, that unhappiness is a symptom of maladjustment. Such a value system might be responsible for the fact that the burden of unavoidable unhappiness is increased by unhappiness about being unhappy." And in another paper, she expressed that the incurable sufferer is given very little opportunity to be proud of his suffering and to consider it ennobling rather than degrading" so that "he is not only unhappy but also ashamed of being unhappy.”

This societal conditioning makes us averse to suffering, pushing us to seek fleeting pleasures, material possessions, and superficial distractions. We perceive suffering as purposeless, void of meaning and strive to escape it at any cost. This mindset is perilous because life is composed of mostly suffering. Not recognizing and accepting this fact will lead us down a path where our impulses dictate our pursuits, and we lose sight of what truly matters.

Contrary to this dangerous misconception, embracing the idea that suffering has meaning is crucial for mental well-being.

There is always a way to find meaning and recover from a deep and dark moment in our lives. The key is to find purpose amid the struggles, as this transforms suffering from a senseless burden into a meaningful journey. Begin with a small goal, accomplish the limited tasks required by it, and then move on to another while keeping the bigger picture.

When Auschwitz prisoners were studied, they found out that the people who killed themselves all had one thing in common: they did not find any more reason to keep suffering. There is no one waiting for them outside, no one to persevere for. Those who survived are those with a legitimate or even manufactured reason to survive despite an indefinite time for freedom. They had a better will to live; their work felt easier, and their health did not suffer as much.

Nietzsche's profound assertion that "a man with a why can endure any how" captures the essence of finding meaning in suffering. Understanding the purpose behind our struggles empowers us to endure, to find strength in the darkest moments. It's not about escaping suffering but navigating it with a sense of direction, making each hardship a stepping stone towards a higher purpose.

In this perspective, your suffering becomes more than just a burden—it becomes a testament to your resilience, a crucial chapter in your personal hero's journey. It's not about denying or escaping suffering; it's about embracing it, finding meaning within it, and emerging stronger on the other side. After all, a life with purpose, even in the face of adversity, is a life truly lived.