Issue No. 31

Go ask someone, "Why are we friends?" and you get a mix of responses. "We vibe together," they might say, or perhaps, "We just get each other," and the classic, "We share similar interests." In today's world of instant messages and quick likes, friendship often seems like a collection of Instagram-worthy moments and inside jokes. We laugh together, we explore together, and yet, when the day ends, an odd sense of solitude lingers. So, what's the real deal with friendship in this digital age?

Being a good friend is more than just being a sidekick in someone's life movie. It's about being an anchor, a truth-teller, and a partner-in-crime. It's not just about the highs, but the lows, the messy, unfiltered moments that make us human. A true friend doesn’t just high-five you for your achievements; they're there to pick you up when you stumble and remind you that failures are just stepping stones to success.

A genuine friend isn't afraid to call you out on your nonsense. Being a good friend means having the guts to say, “Hey, that’s a terrible idea,” or “Dude, you messed up. Let's fix this.” It's not about sugar-coating the truth but serving it raw, wrapped in a blanket of genuine concern. When your friend says this line all the time: “You’re fine the way you are. You don’t need to change a thing. ” or something similar, time to find a new friend. They are not interested in what makes you better. They would rather you remain the same so they have a reference of how they can be better than you. They’d be second to congratulate you at the top and first to feel good when you fall. A good friend would tell you right on your face the most uncomfortable things you don’t want to tell yourself. I once told a friend of mine, “Bro, you look fat.” or “Your fashion looks like that of a 50-year-old man, no wonder girls won’t swipe right on you.” And after telling them the reality of their situation, I show them some solutions. If a friend doesn’t react in a good way and doesn’t see how much I care for them, they are not ready for me. If I consider someone a friend, I want the best for them, I want them to succeed, to be even better than me.

Yet, being a good friend also means knowing your boundaries. You can't be their therapist, financial advisor, and life coach all rolled into one. A true friend knows when to offer a listening ear and when to give them space. It's about understanding that you can't fight their battles for them, but you can stand by their side, cheering them on as they face their demons. Be their compass when they lose their way. Guide them back to the right path. Real friends don’t just nod along; they challenge, question, and push each other to grow. They're not afraid of uncomfortable conversations, because they know that honesty is the cornerstone of any true friendship.

Personally, I always seek ways to contribute positively to my friends' lives, and this extends beyond material or monetary assistance. For instance, one of my friends struggled with his physical appearance, so I shared pictures from my past when I was thin, aiming to inspire him. Another friend faced challenges in approaching girls; he lacked confidence in communication and flirting. I patiently taught him the proper and respectful way to interact. Additionally, I helped another friend discover his purpose by delving into his passions and interests. There are numerous ways to aid your friends in becoming the best versions of themselves. Every time I engage in this process, and witness their success, I feel an immense sense of pride and happiness.

So, here it is in its simplest form: You’re a friend if you want the best for them. They are a friend if they want the best for you. And both of you will actively do it at the right time when both of you are ready to give and receive. If this isn’t what you feel, go find new friends ‘cause what you have are just companions.