Issue No. 21

Suffering is inevitable. It's a requirement of life. The never-ending quest for meaning puts us on a road filled with challenges and difficulties that often catch us by surprise. Whether you like it or not, there will come a time when you will be tested. It may require resilience, optimism, and sanity.

Seneca, an infamous Stoic philosopher in Ancient Rome, mentions this in one of his letters to Paulinus, his father-in-law.

What he means is simple: premeditate what's about to come and practice living as if everything can be taken away from you anytime. Because sooner or later, it will happen; in one form or another, slow or fast. Nothing is permanent, as the old adage says. And that applies to both happiness and suffering. Neither of them lasts. They are intertwined in a perpetual dance to prove each other’s existence. Darkness and Light. In Latin, this practice is called “Premeditatio Malorum,” the premeditation of evils.

A few weeks ago, I moved to a new apartment, and because I forgot to have the air conditioner cleaned, I suffered from a severe sore throat that lasted for two weeks. My entire body suffered as well because I couldn't eat properly. It's like there's a knife in my throat. I often would stare at some of the delicious food I used to eat and couldn't help but think, “Man, I wish I could eat that right now.” That's when I realized I would do anything to have my throat back to normal and eat the nicest things I could.

We really take everything we have for granted and only realize their value when they are gone. That's why the practice of Premeditatio Malorum is important. So, how do you practice it?

1. Count every positive thing in your life.

2. Consider the many ways you can lose them.

3. With their value set in your mind, you can now find ways to keep them and value them even more.

Wait a minute, isn't that just "worrying"?

No. Worry is driven by fear. Its goal is to replay negative scenarios in your head before they happen, with no other aim than to suffer. Premeditatio malorum has the goal of preparing your mind for what's to come. It's supposed to ready your mind for the coming storm so that when it happens, you have the mental acuity to process and solve it as quickly as possible.

Imagine your parents right now. They are most probably old, maybe in their 50s or 60s. They have approximately 10-20 years left before they die. You don't think about it because it seems like it's not going to happen soon, but 10 years pass by in the blink of an eye. Let's say you have a family of your own or just simply live apart from them. You'd probably only meet them 3-4 times a year. Sometimes, probably even less than that. That means you’d only meet them about 30 times more before they take their last breath. That's not a lot, is it? Their death is inevitable, so how do you prepare your mind for that? If you had not known Premeditatio Malorum, you would just continue disregarding their aging presence. But now, I suppose you'd spend more time with them while you can.

You can lose your job at any time. You can get cancer at any time. You can get hit by a car tomorrow and lose your legs. Your friend, your lover, your youth, and everything you have right now can and will likely leave you one way or the other. Premeditating their loss provides you with deeper insight into their value in your life so that you can become more present for them while they last.

We all suffer. It will come to us whether we like it or not. Those who do not suffer are there, 6 feet underground. Since it's part of life, it's natural to master it, and the only way to do that is to practice it before it happens so that when it does, you are mentally prepared and sane enough to learn from it and grow. That's how you benefit from it.

Homeless

by AR

# Practice suffering before it happens.