Issue No. 13

A lot of information out there will tell you so many variations of this simple idea: in order to be mentally strong, you need to train your mind like a physical muscle. It is true, to some extent, perhaps ideologically. You cannot physically stretch your brain without breaking it open, despite it being made of flesh, in order to make your mind strong. Your mind is immaterial. It exists only as the complex connections within your brain. So, how can that metaphor work then?

In my life, I have made it my mission to figure out the answer to that question. I have read several philosophical, psychological, and self-help books from the famous to the newest of authors. Some pieces of advice were helpful, while some were too far from practical applications that I just did not understand them at all. My philosophy is to make things simple so that the mind attaches itself to that idea more tightly.

In order to become mentally strong, I have devised these three steps.

Whenever people are faced with adversity, their immediate reaction is simply to react. After all, we are sensitive creatures. When we are angry, we speak not with our minds but with our emotions. When we are stressed, we find ways to distract ourselves from the stress. All of these occur automatically because it has been a habit for all of us to react to everything. This is further emphasized on social media. Some would be offended so easily by things that they go straight to the comment section to exclaim their point. Most can hear, but no one is listening.

Instead of reacting immediately, just sit down. Recognize what is happening. Did you get fired from your job? Don't cry yet. Think of what happened first. Did you get dumped by your boyfriend? Don't destroy his things; sit down and calm your mind. Be curious, be genuinely curious. If you practice this, you have conquered the first step of mastering your mind. Don't be a slave to it.

After recognizing the situation, let your emotions flow, but let them flow with compassion when you are alone. What this means is to not mindlessly react to your emotions. Again, do not react; just let the emotion flow naturally. Become the observer. If you feel like crying, then cry. If you feel like lying down on your bed and thinking deeply, do so. The point is to release the tension from your chest. Reacting to it would mean adding more levels to what you were feeling instead of allowing the core emotion to be released freely. A good example of this is when some people become angry, they exaggerate it by using their bodies either for attention or to commit violence. Emotions have no extensions to the outside world until you allow them to. For this reason, I advise you to get emotional only when you are alone or with a trusted person for this is when you are honest with yourself.

For the positive forms of emotions, I encourage you to show them to the world for that’s what’s needed today.

After your emotional drama, your mind is now at a much clearer stage. Wipe your tears, get up, sit down, and hold a pen. Throw your emotions in the trash. You're done riding them. It's time to solve stuff. How exciting!

Write down the issue or problem, figure out why it happened, list down the specific steps to solve it, and then execute. Make it your mission to solve it. Become a detective, an agent of your mind. Be as specific as possible. Generalizing the solution is a symptom of fear. By this stage, you should also have thrown fear out the window. It is an opportunity to prove yourself to yourself. Are you able to navigate the realities of the world? Or are you still a child looking for guidance?

The world is unforgiving. It does not wait; it does not accommodate. It only throws you opportunities all the time. It's up to you to catch them and make sense of them.

These three steps can be summarized into this:

This is what I practice, and so far, it is the most effective form of problem-solving that I have discovered. It's simple, it's precise, and it's straightforward. No philosophical innuendo, no psychological tricks, just plain problem-solving.

This is how you become mentally strong. This is how you train your mind to move on and be of service to you, and not the other way around. No amount of pity and discouragement will make your life less miserable. In fact, it damages you more. From now on, it is your duty to yourself to become better at mental challenges. Do this often enough, and no amount of mental difficulties can destroy you.

There are no problems up here.

Photo by Ace Apolonio